Mom Hymn

Silent Night! Quiet night!
Kids asleep! Daddy gone!
Only sound is computer's hum!
They wouldn't know if mom went wild!
I finally have some peace!
I finally have some peace!

So, do you work?

Do you work?
Yes, I do.
I wipe a nose.
I tie a shoe.

I wash a shirt.
Pick up the toys.
I cook dinner.
I chase the boys.

I play monsters.
I wipe the tears.
When I'm at the store,
I buy the beers.

I work at least
As much as you
But I don't get paid
Like you do.

Please don't act
Better than me,
Because you go out
And make money.

Outside Haikus

We all went outside.
The weather was very nice.
The boys were not nice.



Out there it's sunny.
We should out there today.
They go down the slide.



Sliding boards are fun.
They go down them lots of times.
No go in garden.



Bicker fight scream whine.
For your next turn on the slide.
So much fun outside.



Can we go outside?
Can we go back in the house?
Can we go outside?

A Dirty Cleaning Limerick

There once was a Grumpy Homemaker
Who did her housework while naker.
Her husband was happy.
His *beep* wasn't flappy.
So he bent her over to take her.

The Cleaning Bomb Diggitty

I am the cleaning bomb diggity.
I disinfecting and mopping wiggity.
I get the germs, I get the clutter.
I get the spilled and melted butter.

You wish you could be like me
Doing my 10 minute tidies.
My house is clean.
My husband is keen.

I dash around on every hour
To wipe and scrub and scour.
I pick up toys
Messes left by the boys.
I sweep up floors
I wash down doors.

I am the cleaning bomb diggity.
Clean house, I has one.

Snotty nose, you will not win.

Snotty nose.
You will not win.
One day you'll go away.

Yellow or green,
And sometimes clear.
One day you'll go away.

Snotty nose
How I hate you.
You've been here far too long.

Drip, crust, run.
How gross you are.
Why don't you go away.

Snotty nose.
No one likes you.
We don't want you here.

Snotty nose
You are just like
The guy who doesn't know hen to leave.

Snotty nose.
Snotty, snotty nose
Gross, nasty snotty nose.

Where Will We Go Today?

Where will we go today?
Will we stay home
Or find a park?

Will we take a walk?

Maybe we'll just play in the yard.

We can't go far without a car.
Oh how I want to get away.
Drive to far off lands
Like the mall.
See new people.
Other grown ups do exist.

One day I'll have a car,
A Matrix or a CRV,
That belongs just to me.

I'll paint it pink.